The Scoop

So I know I haven't written much about my trip thus far; I've only posted these pictures. But I wasn't sure what to say at first. On the surface, it's been fun. Good laughs with friends, good wine, great food by cook extroidinare Radovan, and new territory to explore. I love the fact that Jelena and I can laugh at nothing for the longest time. And that she gave up her room for me for almost a month. I love how I can tell it to Mihaela like she's my sister. And it's been good spending time with my roommate Maranda. I love listening to worship music on park benches while the bustling city goes by. And I knew, before I left, this time would be a time for rest. But it's hard to switch gears in my mind. I'm having to retrain my thinking, that I must come to God through faith and faith alone. Not works. I'm having to rebuild that relationship with Him. While some things have been a stretch like little space, living out of a suitcase, language barrier, on the flipside God's given me such a precious time of resting in Him. My identity is not in what I can do for others, nor in how they affirm me. I've struggled so much in the past year in how others perceive me because a lot of times it takes some getting to know me or really establishing a relationship before I'll let you in the parts I like to think are really me. Part of that I know is because I'm not comfortable in who I am fully. Another side is because I watch so many people putting on shows for others. They want to be this or that and so they play a certain role. But it sounds so phony, the stuff coming out of their mouths and I don't think they even realize it. I know faith and love require action, but I think if it's truth then power will follow. If you don't have power, you have religion, as Robert Mearns said once. So instead of acting out of insecurity or self-will, why not wait on the Lord, His timing, His way? I had this dream recently where I first trying to fly. I would last a few minutes in the air and then have to push off the ground again. In the same dream I then began driving a jet. It was wobbly and I couldn't keep it on a straight path. I feel sort of in that adolescent phase, as a friend of mine put it. I'm a woman, yes, but in a spiritual sense, I'm still maturing, in that between phase of child and adult. But I don't want to become bogged down by details. I want to press on, and to try creative things for our Lord. I want to love Him with all of my heart and to take risks. This time away has brought a freshness to my spirit. I feel faith where there's been doubt and fear. I had such a divine appointment last weekend that I could barely keep my feet on the ground. So, to all my readers out there, it's time for new perspective. Dream bigger than you ever have. Make your requests known to God. He is wanting to turn this world down-side up, as Peter Gabriel sings. Love you all!