Thessaloniki, Greece

Growing Up

The chorus was inspired by my dad, and so the other morning I just felt that well up in me, that I wouldn't, couldn't give up, that my sacrifice of praise meant so much more to the Lord than times when I feel I'm hitting the mark and the glory of God is manifesting itself all over the place. I can't tell you how many times the past couple of months I've told the Lord, you know I just want to grow in this aspect or in this talent. And I've told him maybe I need to go somewhere where I can be more fully trained up in this, as in music and songwriting. Well, maybe that is a season he'll release me in, but for now I feel He's doing something unique...that the areas He wants me to grow in are the areas of my heart and that can't be done anywhere. He's more concerned with my ability to love Him and love others than in how well I can sing or write. So there have been so many tests it's felt like lately, and most of the time I've gotten angry about it instead of seeing them for what they are, chances for His glory to be created in my heart. I feel He's doing such a work on my character and it sucks sometimes, but I'm excited for the eternal weight it'll hold.

I have come to worship my God

I will not give up

I have come with the heart of David

I will not give up

I have come to honor my Love

I will not give up

I have come for Your will, not mine

I will give not up

I have come to be more like You

I will not give up

I have come, Lover of my soul

I will not let go

You’re the Way, You’re the Truth,

You’re the Life I belong to

You’re the Way, You’re the Truth,

You’re the door that I run through

(Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God,

Prince of Peace, Everlasting is Your name)

Peter Gabriel's "Growing Up":

folded in your fleshy purse
i am floating once again
while the muted sounds are pumping rhythm
all the walls close in on me
pressure's building wave on wave
till the water breaks - and outside i go, oh

one dot, that's on or off, defines what is and what is not, one dot
two dot, a pair of eyes, a voice, a touch, complete surprise, two dot
growing up, growing up,
looking for a place to live
growing up, growing up,
looking for a place to live
growing up, growing up,
looking for a place to live

my ghost likes to travel so far in the unknown
my ghost likes to travel so deep into your space

three dot, a trinity, a way to map the universe
three dot
four dot, is what will make a square, a bed to build on, it's all there,
four dot

my ghost likes to travel so far in the unknown
my ghost likes to travel so deep into your space

all the slow clouds pass us by
make the Empire State look high
as you take me in your sea-stained sweetness
it spills, it tingles and it stings
all the pleasure that it brings
'til the door has let the outside inside here

well on the floor thre's a long wooden table
on the table there's an open book
on the page there's a detailed drawing
and on the drawing is the name i took

my ghost likes to travel so far in the unknown
my ghost likes to travel so deep into your space

growing up, growing up,
looking for a place to live
growing up, growing up,
looking for a place to live
growing up, growing up,
looking for a place to live
growing up, growing up,
looking for a place to live

my ghost likes to travel
my ghost likes to travel
moving inside of your space
my ghost likes to travel
my ghost likes to travel
moving inside of your space
my ghost likes to travel
moving inside
my ghost likes to travel
moving inside of your space
my ghost likes to travel
moving inside
my ghost likes to travel
moving inside of your space

the breathing stops, i don't know when
in transition once again
such a struggle getting through these changes
and it all seems so absurd
to be flying like a bird
when i do not feel i've really landed here.

A Bitter Cup of Joe

First business first, my birthday is Sunday and I'll be the ripe old age of 25. No comment...I haven't posted in a while cause time has flown by this month and I look back and wonder where the heck it all went to. I've been too busy, too scattered, and left feeling a little worn out, with some frustration and just a pinch of bitterness. But I spent some time this morning listening to music, my favorite people, and was refreshed by the fact at how much art touches your heart, livens you, even when you have nothing to give back. All you artists out there know how hard it is to finally create something that's been stirring inside of you, to give birth if you will to the small life that's been taking shape within you. It's such a difficult process, such a painful and lonely one, sometimes, but always rewarding. I imagine renowned artists confronting the dark mockery of the ignorant world with swift, sure bullets straight to the heart when in truth it's probably the same for them as it is for us. Somehow you muddle through it, pick yourself up, and keep going. You write a song, make a movie, act a part, paint a picture etc. and the general populace has little knowledge of what it took to get you there...they think to themselves, what a glorious life, to sit on a hill and craft the epic Oddessey. Little do they know you've had to fight Circe, swim against the tide of the Sirens, outsmart the cyclops, transform from a pig to a man. Anyway, that's my spewing for the day...I'm sure I'll apologize tomorrow.