Finally I Found It!

I've been looking for this poem for some time. It's an W.H. Auden poem about heroes. I love it...check it out:

He parried every question that they hurled:
"What did the Emperor tell you?" "Not to push."
"What is the greatest wonder of all the world?"
"The bare man Nothing in the Beggar's Bush."

Some muttered, "He is a cagey for effect.
A hero owes a duty to his fame.
He looks too like a grocer for respect."
Soon they slipped back into his Christian name.

The only difference that could be seen
From those who'd never risked their lives at all
Was his delight in details and routine.

For he was always glad to mow the grass,
Pour liquids from large bottles into small,
Or look at clouds through bits of coloured glass.

Auden had a way of finding the extroidinare in the routine of our daily lives. The artist he states in the last stanza is capable of finding beauty in the smallest of things. The hero is the man who mows his lawn on a regular basis but who is able to still see art in the things around him.

The End of an Era

As I near the final days of my last English class, and even more importantly, the final words of my final BA of the Arts paper, I wanted to share a quote from me, the author. Indeed, I felt inspired for it is a subject that touches me as few friends would understand. The arts, the redemption of something that oozes from the the pores of the Father. Perhaps the wildest frontier of them all. So here it is:

I preferred Richard Poirer’s words that “innovation in the arts is a form of cultural heroism.” Most of us in some way or another I believe are wanting to be that hero to one person and maybe even to many; to redirect the highways from east coast to west coast so that they not only go north to south but down to up; to reinvent a child that has become old and crippled without sight or speech. There are attempts in every generation for that innovative shift in the arts and it is like the present age holds its breath until the savior of the written language is revealed. Man is not the judge but the words themselves. They reflect not only a deeper revelation from a collected pool of literary devices but something of the times, a common stream that is history’s ink. There are heroes in war, heroes at work, heroes at home, and heroes behind the pen. To be so bold as to challenge reliable technique, sensible creativity, marketable subject matter and so on is perhaps bolder than one with a gun in battle. The artist risks his or her own reputation and livelihood to challenge the monuments of literary gods. He or she risks being misunderstood, overlooked, and forgotten. It is a great challenge to the resolve of a human being to leap where there is no visible ground.

Well I achieved at procrastinating a little longer. I think success is greatest determined by not whether or not man's recognition and respect is given to you but by the amount of failure you have encountered and chosen to overcome. Anyone who seeks the favor of man is in my opinion a coward and a fake. The facade of popular opinion is like a smokescreen for a disfigured and dying beast. It is better to present the true form, expose it to all humanity's ridicule until everything that is destructable is destroyed and everything that is lasting remains. But here I am sipping on coffee at almost 5 am and all these words well they might be a smokescreen for the inadequacies of a student. So one most know when to say enough is enough and I bid you adeu.

"We are All More than We Know"

Well today was a particularly drab day. I ran into my old history teacher from seventh grade. He is now working at Barnes. I hate the question...so what are you gonna do with your English degree? That was only a minor irritation. But lately it seems my family has been under attack and I always have some fear that it could get as bad as it once was. I know that's not true...the Lord is at work in all our lives and His protection surrounds us. Still, I have to wonder how bad things will get before they get better. All in all I feel helpless in everything. I need to work more, paint more, write more. But my thoughts keep wandering to the more present issues at hand. Anyway, I read a cool quote from Kafka today. He said concerning backing down from people and situations that cause suffering, "it may be that this very holding back is the one evil you could have avoided."

Show Me

Well some of the verses correlate to past memories...not exactly but the feel to them. So now seeing where the Lord has brought my family I feel like I could sing bout something like this with authority. I want it to be a sorta rockish song in the style of evanescence. In the chorus I imagine someone yelling the "Won't You show me" part. Probably I would sing the first two verses before going into the chorus...but needs a melody so I will have to wait and see.

Verse1:
I can hear mom crying
through a dirty window pane
And I wonder if she’ll win today
the fight to get out of the dark
or if there’s a time set apart
for us to be happy again

Pre-chorus1:
What if you’re cherished
and what if there’s a chance
the broken are redeemed?

Verse2:
Your daddy never told you
just how beautiful you are
and it shows in the way you walk
wanting their words, their looks
In shame you hide your heart
cause it’s too late to start again

Pre-chorus2:
What if you’re worthy
and what if there’s a love
that could make you free?

Verse3:
There are so many hurting
left bleeding and rejected
But Your cross is calling
something deep and beautiful
like a breeze in their prison
that blows wide the doors

Pre-chorus:
I’m here to say one day
Your glory will shatter
all this ugliness and death

Chorus:
Won’t You show me
What’s true in this misery
Won’t You show me
Cause I am so weak
Won’t You show me
Everything You see
Won’t You show me
All of Your glory

Joyner Jolt

He states on one of his teaching cd's that the true spirit of prophesy will see the glory in the driest of bones. If one stands on the mountain and sees the glory of the Lord, the valley cannot change that. The person will change the valley. That goes for people too. We must ask the Lord to show us what He sees because the world does enough of criticizing and accusing the brethren.

What a busy weekend. I think the talent show went over very well aside from the fact that it was like ten hours long. I really enjoyed singing From the Ashes with a full harmonic accompaniment. A lot of people showed up for it and a heck of a lot of talent was released. Sunday morning sort of got the brunt of my stress from the previous day I believe. Thanks to all who came out to my birthday partee...but I think next year I might run away to a little pennisula in Italy and enjoy the exotic food and sunset. This morning was a bit of a lazy one. I woke up at ten...listened to a Joyner cd and fell back asleep. Then Ducky called and said we might have the opportunity to open up for Disciple in February. That would be a blast. I still haven't received my John Mark cd in the mail nor have I bought Upton's new one yet. Looking forward to some new music to worship to. Here are a few pointers I really liked from this morning's teaching:

If God is in the process of bringing back the Tabernacle then he must also be in the process of raising up warriors and worshippers. Joyner emphasized the need for sacrifice in our life. In order to bring the ark in David had to make a sacrifice every six paces. From its starting point to the end that would require around 3600 sacrifices.

Even though Saul was the counterfeit king...he still helped mold David's character into the man he would eventually become as Israel's leader. God sometimes allows the counterfeit to occur so that we can mature. David still served Saul's ministry despite the word he received that he would be king someday.

Pride and Prejudice...can't wait...luv this fameous Jane Austin story. All us girlies are gonna have to see it. The book is awesome and the television mini-series with Colin Firth is also worth viewing. I heard this one takes a more grundgy approach to the filming. Darcy is the arrogant snob confronted morally and socially by the independent and outspoken Elizabeth Bennet.

Anyway, my birthday is this Friday boys and girls. So stop on by mom and dad's for some cajun seafood. Yay...I get my new snowboard tomorrow and get to play some music this weekend. Looking forward to it.

What the Bleep

I had a strange dream last night concerning a place that seemed like it could be hell or some other purgatory. I was walking through a cavernous place when the landscape opened up and revealed this ebony tower in the distance. I took several pictures of it...and the sky in the background was blood red. Then a women began to follow me. I knew she was bad news. I went back to this place where some others had been with me. They were still there, up on a stone platform. The woman followed me up there. There was a statue of a gargoyle in which she sprinkled some kind of dust on it. She said it would tell you the truth if you did that. But I stayed far away from it. Somehow the landscape changed and I was outside in a deserted neighborhood. It was very apocalyptic...broken windows, machines etc. I wanted to get out bad...or for someone to rescue me. A boy came up to me who had touched the gargoyle. He had red looking chicken pock marks all over his face. Then I saw in the distance coming down from the clouds byplanes and hot air balloons. I thought they were coming to save me. But instead they were carrying water vehicles. They landed somewhere down the street, as if they intended to stay. I had the faintest inclination to try my cell phone for help but then I woke up.

The Least of These
(words subject to change; sorta needs a melody)

Verse1:
I want to pour myself out on You
Cause Your mercy is poured on me
I want to spend myself on You
Cause You spent Your life on me
I want to find myself in You
Cause You find Yourself in me

Chorus:
I am nothing but the least of these
I am no one but a friend to Jesus
But it is all that I want to be
So free to be loved by You
So free to be loved by You

Verse2:
I want to walk in Your kingdom
Cause this place is not my home
I want to hear the words Your speaking
Cause the fame of man is killing
I want to tear down all my idols
Cause Your face is so beautiful

The light at the end of the tunnel. And no that's not a demonic figure...that's Kimbo. I had a really sweet time worshipping the Lawd today. It's so easy to get wrapped up in what I ought to be doing or striving for that I forget He just wants to spend time with me. And that's more than enough; that's the foundation, the beginning, and the end. He is the Light I am moving toward. Seek Me with all your heart. That seems to come with a promise. You will find Him. And that's my heart's cry...to see Him face to face. So I'm taking dad's advice: not to get too wrapped up in the words or how worthy they are for writing down. I get a lot of impressions, ideas and I usually write them all down. It's the way that I hear best from the Lord...during worship. I can think the heavens are brass but put in some music or strum a simple tune and I feel Him flooding all over me...whether His presence or His words. Give me some time to put some words down and I feel a deep sense of fulfillment. Anyway, haven't written in a few days and although this is not earth shattering revelation I thought I'd share it. I was reading today somewhere how God left the Israelites some enemies in the promised land to test their hearts. Who would they turn to? Joshua died without having destroyed them all. And yes, you guessed it, the Israelites turned to their neighbor's pagan gods and ways of idolatry. God has brought them out of Egypt, across the wilderness, and into the land of Canaan. But they forgot Him so easily. I think in my own life without the fight I'd just as easily cast everything to the wind. I just want to say thank You.