For My Mother

No it's not Gandalf. She wanted a sort of watchman type character. Here he is, minus a few later add-ons.

First Snows and Scottish Clans

It all began the night before when Ryan lost the key to the car and I had to drive up that night with a spare. Eight of us crammed into a two bed room and let me just say the night was everything but peaceful. I was out that morning by 8:30 am.
Jesse, Gail, and I taking a breather. We converted Gail from the declining age of skiing to the ever-growing and unique art of snowboarding. She's a surfer and so caught on very quick. It was great to meet you.
My day was rather relaxing because the snow was slowly melting; so I took it easy, enjoyed some quiet time by the lake with a cool beer whilst the others ventured off on their own exploits. It's interesting drinking one beer at such high elevations...does funny things.
That's me on my fairly new burton board. It's so smoothe...I'm in love.
The center of the village. The clock reminds me of the one from Back to the Future. And yes, that's Starbucks, the other rendevouz point where I was able to get in some much needed reading time. Bonhoeffer's "The Cost..." wow, never made it all the way through the first time. But let's see a favorite quote: "There is a distinction here between suffering and rejection. Had He only suffered, Jesus might still have been applauded as the Messiah. All the sympathy and admiration of the world might have been focused on His passion./But in the passion Jesus is a rejected Messiah. His rejection robs the passion of its halo of glory. It must be a passion without honor."
The group, though I never saw them until the end of the day. Once lost on that mountain it's hard to find anyone. All in all a great day with some much needed rest.

A Portrait of War

So in the midst of feeling sort of run-down I wrote this and got the coolest insight into a verse in Isaiah:

I will give you the treasures of darkness -Isaiah 45:3

If in my memory is a secret portrait of when war began,
of the tide of hate separating heaven from earth with its cruel hand
and red shadow that follows where life has yet to relent,
of ash covered vehicles, steel horses with glass fangs, upon which
sit the six faces of death that sing until what is blooming, what is green
can no longer withstand the icy foul of their hunger,
of bony, dog-faced men, old in matter, young in mind
too bound in fear to fight or die, aside their visions of majesty
which keep them satisfied in sewers of their own choosing,
of life not yet lived, snuffed out like a match between fingers,
life waiting to live but the time is stolen before it is realized that
all one needs is the courage to move, not another clue or answer,
if in my memory is a secret portrait of when war began,
it is lost in the rubble of what is, and this is what is, what I can give.
But there is One in the midst of fallen prophets that have brought down
with them temple walls surrounding their special gods, their special promises,
One who declares I will raise up her ruins again and who can
give water to a thirsty land, causing wise men to draw back.
There is One who sees the sinews which were made from dust
to form the hand which chooses light or dark in this war gone mad,
who says to the sea be dried up and her depths obey. And in this
hideous remaining where time ceases like a dead man’s last breath,
there is One who reveals the hidden wealth in darkness, in hell, who
calls forth light upon those who walk in shadows, who dwell in the night.

Captain of the Host

I got a new tat. It's smaller than the other, on my forearm, and only took about ten mintues. It says Lord of Hosts in Hebrew, Jehovah Saboath. Now it seems lately that's who the Lord is to me or how He's choosing to reveal Himself. It's not as pretty or as enjoyable as some of His other personas...but this quote from Francis Frangipane sums it up for me (and note, I had not read this until the day after I got the tat done):

"There is something about the time just prior to a move of God that cause many people to wonder if the Lord is for them or against them. He seems confrontational, too intense, too 'different' from the One we learned to trust..."

"Before the Lord's sword will come through your mouth, it must pass through your heart. God must confront the stronghold of fear within us before we can be effective against the enemy in the heavenly places."

"Before Jesus returns, those who have passed through the wilderness tests will receive another revelation: Christ will be revealed to them as "captain of the host." They will be ready to follow the Lamb wherever He goes."

The Song of Songs

Well tonight was a really great night with the Song of Songs. I was sort of feeling down today, just sort of battered although the rest from this weekend has been great. But I felt like God said "take your own advice and let me refresh you." So I spent just an hour or so in prayer and listening to Him. He told me a few things which just melted my heart for Him. Like I've been praying about how much of my affection is really toward Him. I know I've set it upon other pleasures but I couldn't really get victory. Then He just spoke to me about how even my flirtations with other things hurt Him, make Him jealous. And just that little tidbit I feel strengthened my heart. Anyway, Katie seemed to be in the chapter I taught on and to see her catch the revelation of God's heart toward her was truly beautiful. Some of my favorite lines are the ones about the foundation of His house being as sturdy and endurable as cedar etc. His foundation will never decay and is safe to build on. I also love the line about being Jesus' inheritance. When we grasp that we really can stand firm on the fact that there is no one else for the job. You're it. When you feel less than or like a failure remember you are the bride for Jesus. The Father has chosen you for His Son. There's so much victory in knowing that. Anyway, it was a good time of basking in His love, even though I felt sort of inadequate to teach it. But He's been filling in the gaps and all the more better. I love You Jesus!

Sorry for the Cliche BUT Exciting Times

I started by talking about God's strategies and then somehow we moved into a sweet time of fellowship in the Spirit. Everyone brought something to the table. James and I had intended to teach on being in God's will etc. I knew at the beginning God wanted to do things a little different. It's been a cool process just learning how to obey the Spirit for a corporate purpose. I still have a little disatisfaction. I want more of God, I want to see Him manifested fully in signs, wonders, prophecy, healings etc. I want to know that what I am doing has some relevance to His kingdom. My hope is that one day, when the time is right, He'll allow me to go where the gospel is buried and forgotten and help in a church plant. I think these FNTs are for me training in that. Part of me can't wait to run into the midst of battle and see Him do a mighty work. But I know I'd get myself killed if it's not time. So I'm remaining faithful in these FNTs and thanking Him for them. There are still a few people who I'd like to have my back who aren't fully released or walking in their calling. For me, the future is an exciting unknown adventure. I can't wait (although I am) for the moment when I'm sent out for His kingdom.